I do not want to write how lonely
a car parked under the rain
in a deserted road sings,
but I’ve been on this journey for ten years,
searching for a boy to translate the sweetness in my language;
searching for a door out of the fear sitting inside my throat.
Nothing is constant; birds die & are reborn as clouds,
leaves go into the earth to become songs,
yet my love is passed down as sin,
nailed to the wall in a city where my body
is full of strange men begging to live,
nailed to balls of fire falling from the mouths
of preachers shouting in fields.
At night I sit in silence to hear my body
mingle with the stars in darkness.
I know how loneliness sits in a deserted town
and plays dead songs from parched lips.
I know how a body enters itself
to hide desire behind sadness.
I’ve been sitting for a long time,
waiting for a boy to heal the confusion
falling in my heart.
The rain keeps falling & I don’t know
if the birds rising in my heart
is my body saying it’s alright to love
this wildness walking into a city on fire.